She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize