I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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