I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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