Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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