I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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