what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize