Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
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i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
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Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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