what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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