Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
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