There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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