This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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