we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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