After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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