I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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