my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize