I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize