i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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