I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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