In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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