I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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