Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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