The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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