I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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