is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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