i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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