just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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