In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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