So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
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It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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