Umm I'm too high to move.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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