ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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