We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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