when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize