We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
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You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
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I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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