I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize