he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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