dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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