she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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