oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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