We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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