Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize