hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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