So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize