i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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