my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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