girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it's great music for shaving your balls
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize