I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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