If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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