Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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