i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize