sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he puts the penis in happiness.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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