i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
one might say we're banned from that church
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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